101 beaten PlayStation 3 games!
Wow! I have now beaten 101 games for the PlayStation 3, that feels great!
I have of course played more than one hundred games, but I haven’t finished all. But I have gone through 101 games from the start to finish. I started playing on the PlayStation 3 around 2008, so its taken its time.
Especially since I haven’t been able to play as much as I want for the last two years.
But I am still very pleased and a bit proud. To many this is nothing special and I get that, but to me its something else. I can’t really explain it, but its gotta be love or something.
My one hundredth game was Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 and the 101th game is Lightning Returns: Final Fantay XIII. As soon as I have the time I will sit down and go through my list of beaten PS3 games and write something more about my favorites among that list. If you want to check out my beaten games list under the game section.
Tags: Beaten, Castlevania, Final Fantasy XIII, Games, Lists, PlayStation 3, PS3
Got a cold and a few games
Aaatchoooo! Goddamn it. Sneezing, nose is running and both body and head aches. I’ve caught a cold and I hate it. I tried working Tuesday but had to go home after half that day, my cold just got worse and worse. So I slept for the rest of the day and that’s just about what I have the strength to. I’m just going to post this really quick and then I am going back to bed.
I’ve also gotten two new games actually, one that I’ve ordered and one that I won. One is Castlevania: Lords of Shadows 2 and it nice so far. I haven’t been playing much since I’m not feeling well. But yes, I’ve tried it a bit. The other I win from PlayerSelect.se and its Lightning Returns Final Fantasy XIII and it came with a guide. A shame it didn’t have a real box and cover instead, I didn’t care much for guides. But I’m still happy I won, the demo for LRFFXIII was fun and hopefully I can enjoy this.
Later this month three more games will land in my home, they are Infamous Second Son, Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes and Final Fantasy X & X-2 HD. So I’ll have my hands full in the future and I am thinking about doing some other videogame related stuff, but I’m not sure what yet. I haven’t got many ideas, but I feel like I want to do something. The only thing holding me back is time, I couldn’t do much more with PSSverige because of time. But I loved doing reviews and I hope I get to do that again in the future, that would be great. So keeping my fingers crossed for either a new project or something else. We’ll see, I have to think more about my own stuff.
Tags: Castlevania, Cold, Final Fantasy XIII, Lightning Returns, Lords of Shadows, Photos, Sick
It’s Tales of time!
Now I finally have Tales of Symphonia Chronicles in my hands! YES! Been looking forward to replay Tales of Symphonia and finally try Tales of Symphonia Dawn of The New World. Enough chatting here! I gotta finish my food and then get a couple of hours played! OH! YEAH!!
Tags: Games, JRPG, Photos, PS3, Tales of Symphonia
Bullied and the scars it leaves…
You might have seen my previous post where I opened up pretty much about my experience with love and my fears about it. And I said I was probably going to tackle my time being bullied and how it’s affected me, how it hurt and made my life terrible for me and how I have to deal with all that daily. It’s a scar that heals slowly, so incredible slow. But one day I can get over all this and live without my problems.
I’m not writing this to seek sympathy from people, I’m writing this because I need to get this shit out. It is eating me up inside and I need to get some thoughts out.
I’ve always been a weird one, I’ve liked stuff no one other around me liked. I’ve always been “special” according to people. Well I have a mild diagnose of ADHD and had a hard time grasping stuff at a young age, that filled me with a rage I don’t miss. It was because I was hyperactive and I couldn’t burn the energy, I had trouble focusing on one thing. I still have these problems, that I’m still so hyper at times that I fall into depression and I can do nothing about it. I want to do hundred things, but I can never start anything. Sometimes if I have conversations with my friends I can space out and totally loose the conversation, its hard when it happens since I don’t want people to repeat themselves because I couldn’t focus. It also makes some parts of my work hard, because I can start spacing out and then forget what I was talking about. I still have periods when I get to excited where I seem to loose control and I can see what I am doing, but I have no control of it until I “cool down”. I hate when that happens, it feels like I’m not me… And it was only a few years ago I got my diagnose, so I could start trying to wrap my head around all the stuff I didn’t get. If you want to know more about ADHD google it.
The problem with all this was, that when I was young no one bother to check if I had a diagnose. I was just a problem child, who was a bit too wild perhaps. I started school a year later than everyone else in my age, since it didn’t work for me being in school. Because of my wild behavior I had a really hard time making friends, I didn’t know how to approach people and I guess kids didn’t want to be with me since I was a weirdo. There where some people who was with me on recesses, but nothing more than that. And not being able to make friends, really left a deep scar inside. I still carry that inside me, I am so afraid to meet new people and I’m afraid the ones I’ve met will leave me…
But at least one thing changed in 1994 I went to a school where I made my first friend, it was around this time Power Rangers was popular and me and my friend where about the only two people at school that where honest with liking the show. A classmate introduced us, I remember that day so well. He had just gotten a new toy from Biker Mice from Mars and he was showing it of to two classmates/friends, then I approached him and we started to talk about Power Rangers and stuff. And now 20 years later he is still one of my dearest and best friends, but I don’t think he understands how important this is to me. Since he doesn’t have my problems, I constantly worry that I’ll loose his friendship just because of my problems. The same goes for all other friends I have now, I’m so afraid of this.
After we have known each other for a few months, there where rumors about us being gay. Well we where both weird and liked cartoons and videogames and that was more of less a big fat no at our school. If you didn’t like cars and that shit, you where an outcast.
And then we where bullied for playing Power Rangers at school, in the past I regretted this so much, but now I think it was great. Now that I’ve written all this, I really noticed how hard it is to form the words I really want. So I’ll just skip some stuff I was going to write from the start.
I’ve been bullied hard in my life, hit, kicked and treated like I had the plague. Treated like I had the plague because of my psoriasis. So I developed social phobia and my depressions where getting worse and worse, to the point where I’ve tried to take my life two times. But I’m still here, so you can guess how that went. So to find some sort of escape, I started to eat. Eat and eat and I’m large today and that just keeps adding to the depression. It’s always something, but I hope I can start loosing weight soon. I’m going to start training and I hope it goes well, I want to be thin again. Well thinner at least, just that would do so much for me.
But there most have been some form of comfort in my life? Yes, I found comfort in videogames at an early age, its always been the constant thing in my life. Even when I didn’t have any friends I always had my games, that’s why videogames are so important and such a big part of my life. It is not just a hobby, I think of it as a big savior for me. It was a world I could turn to, it was a better world, to be a hero with friends who cares deeply for him. Cartoons and TV-shows was also a world I could escape too, and I still love cartoons today and watch as much anime as I can. Sure it wasn’t a solution, but it was what I had and still have. But perhaps people can understand why I post so much about games and I’ll continue to do so. Music has and is also a big part of my life, especially metal. It has given me power to carry on and fight, even if nothing works out for you. Never give up. I’ve been close to ending my life, I’ve had two failed attempts at ending it. I’m not sure I’ve even told my friends about that, but now you’ll know…
There has been a lot of other stuff I’ve had to deal with and the stuff I’ve written so far only covers 4 years of school life. There are 5 more years of school, problems, being bullied and thoughts of suicide. Then we have all the time outside of school and the years after it, the stuff I’ve had to deal with there. I don’t think I’ll go into any of that, at least not now. Just writing this brings back so many bad memories that I’m sitting here crying right now as I type this. Even with my life and the stuff I’ve had to endure, my life hasn’t been one big problem filled one. I’ve made friends, who I hope will always be there. I’ve gotten a job that has helped me get on my feet and be able to live without anyones help. It may sound like my parents haven’t been a big help for me, but that isn’t true. They have always been there, perhaps not always in the way I needed them to be. But despite what anyone thinks, nobody knows what we’ve gone through. Both good and bad stuff, so don’t judge.
I’ll just wrap this up by thanking all the people in my life, thank you for you are part of it. Friends, family and all those few individuals who has stayed with me and I hope you will stay with me. Even with all my problems, even the ones I can’t control. But hopefully you’ll know why it’s like that now, or at least try to understand. I have to stop writing now, it’s just to damn hard and I’m still sitting here with tears in my eyes and a bunch of bad memories bubbling up. Future posts will be much, much happier posts. Now that I’ve got this crap out of the way.
Tags: Bullied, Depression, Feelings, Friends, Hurt, Scared, School
What is love? Baby, you hurt me.
For once its not a post of videogames, I have to make one of these from time to time. I have been thinking a whole lot about this in the past weeks and now I just have to get it out of my system.
They say love is powerful and can be magical, it a wonderful and awesome thing. But how do you handle love when you don’t understand it? There are a lot of people, if not all who doesn’t understand love. But for me with my problems of not understanding my emotions, this is extra hard. I think I’ve been in love once, it was a long long time ago. I was just a kid in middle school (lågstadiet) and there was this girl I like no loved I think. I felt something really strong for her, something I’ve never felt about anyone else. But she ruined me, she made it impossible for me to feel anything like that again. I’m afraid, her reply to my love letter I wrote (I’m coming to it) has really fucked me up good. This together with being bullied in most of my school years made me close of what emotions I had. And now about 15-16 years later I still can’t seem to unravel my emotions, they are fucked up.
Well yeah, as any person who is afraid to confront someone directly I wrote a sappy love letter. Along the line of, “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve seen. Just seeing you makes me happy and brightens my day.” Stuff like that, nothing in appropriate or hurtful. So after much debating on how to give it to her, I put it in her locker. And here is the part where went straight to hell. She found the letter, I didn’t write is was from me. But her reaction to reading it is that she starts crying. Not happy crying, but hurtful disgusted crying. Her friends asked me if I wrote it, being in shock of that reaction from her I said no. But they apparently knew, so already being the “weird” kid with hobbies like no one else had and having a hard time, things got worse.
No girl in my entire class would speak to me anymore. Can you even imagine what that did to a little kid? A kid who already had problems he didn’t understand and could deal with. Now had to suffer through this shit too?! I really regret writing that letter, its made my life terrible and I’m afraid to trust and love people.
Some say I should get over it since it happened long ago. True, but how do you fix something like this? I have been scared of women ever since, I’m afraid to get close and talk because I think I’ll get rejected. I have some really great female friends right now, but I have this constant fear of loosing their friendship. If I show who I am, they will all leave. But then again, I have that fear even when it comes to my male friends.
The reason why I can understand feeling well is because I have a diagnose. I can flip out at times when I get to excited. I have problems with concentration and knowing what I feel and how to react to it. There are probably more stuff that I don’t know about, but I might make a post about that later. So people might understand me better.
This is also one of the main reasons I hide my fears when talking about women with my friends. I can get very sexual in those talks, but that’s the scared little boy talking. I don’t want to let people in, since I’m afraid and I don’t know how to handle it. Like Elza from Disney’s Frozen I “Conceal, don’t feel. Put on a show”. So I cover it up with crude humor and stuff, my friends now how I can be. But know they’ll also know why, I have actually never told them before.
So how as a 30 year old do you deal with this? I’m to afraid to try and meet someone. I’m afraid they’ll leave when they get to know the real me. I’m a videogame, anime loving person, who also suffer from social phobia and are afraid of being rejected by everyone.
Well this turned out to be a long post, but it feels better having gotten some of it out. Just writing it here make it feel a bit better, but it doesn’t take away the problem. But hopefully I deal with them slowly. I apologize if there are a lot of misspellings and stuff, I’m writing this from my mobile. So I’ll have to clean it up later, I just wanted to get this out.
Tags: Emotions, Friends, Girls, Hidden, Hurt, Love, Pain, Phobia, Secret, Women, Wonderful
Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark + trailer
Activision just announced a new Transformers game, Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark. It seems like the game is a mash-up of the Cybertron games and the movie-verse. Something I don’t have any trouble with, nice to see the series melding together a bit. I really do like Optimus Primes new movie look, so awesome! Even if he has a bit to much blue on him, but I’m not gonna whine for that.
There is no date on the game right now, but it will come out this year. Will most certainly be out before or around when Transformers: Age of Extinction has it’s premier. It will be out for the following formats, PS3, PS4, Xbox One, Xbox 360, Wii U, Nintendo 3DS and PC. So you can get it on just about any console of your choosing.
If it’s just as good as the Cybertron games, then I’ll be happy as a fiddle. Will probably buy this day one if I can afford it, PS4 version for me!
Tags: Action, Activision, More Than Meets The Eye, Movieverse, PS3, PS4, Rise of the Dark Spark, Trailers, Transformers, Xbox
The Walking Dead, game and show
Lots of The Walking Dead on my mind right now. About two weeks ago, me and my buddy Elden finished watching season 3 of TWD. Only to watch finish watching half of season 4 last weekend, that was nice! And so much shit is going on, I really enjoy this show. Much more than I thought that I would and I’ve watched all seasons with Elden, it’s become our thing and it nice to watch a show with someone who appreciates its just as much (if not more) than you do. So before I’m going to watch the continuation of season 4, I’m going to wait until all episodes are out. I want to watch the rest in one go!
Don’t Dead, Open Inside. What the hell does that even mean!? (I love this joke, about the text)
I’ve also borrowed The Walking Dead game from Elden, going to start on chapter 4 tomorrow. Enjoying it very much so far, I never thought making choices would be so hard. I have gotten pissed at characters in the Tv-show for certain choices they’ve had to make, I thought they where stupid. Heh. I’ve found myself making the same kind of stupid choices in the game, so that was interesting. Either way, the game is really good and I am absolutely going to replay this in the future. Not much left to play of the game, but I am already looking forward to the sequel game. But since I’m not into episodic games that much, I won’t play it until all episodes are released. Preferably on a disc as soon as possible.
