I’m feeling much better

It’s been a while since I posted something here, well I haven’t been feeling so well for the past two months. But it has finally started to turn around, I can go without taking any medication to feel somewhat good. So that feels and is just so great, to be able to get out of that damn hole. I haven’t had a dark period like this one in a couple of years, hopefully it won’t be this severe in the future.

As always I’ve tried to keep busy with work, haven’t thought about much else. Last weekend, me and Elden finished watching season 3 of The Walking Dead. Hopefully we’ll start watching season 4 under this weekend, I also borrowed Telltales The Talking Dead game from him. I’ve only played two chapters so far, but so far so good! I really enjoy it and it has placed me in some uncomfortable situations. Never thought it would be so hard to make certain choices in games, dammit it! But as I said its good and I hope I have the time to play more under the weekend.

I won’t be going to the Sci-fi convention this time, I don’t have the money. I might go in October when they are in Helsingborg, all comes down to if I can afford it. Hopefully there aren’t any games I want coming out at the time, because I’ll always pick the games before the convention. But I feel relieved, I wasn’t sure I’d go anyway since I still don’t really want to be around many people I don’t know. Still get panic attacks and get dizzy and I get nausea.

A little less than three weeks away from Tales of Symphonia Chronicles and Castlevania Lords of Shadow 2 for the PlayStation 3. Damn I’m really looking forward to those games! They are preordered and payed, just need them to be released. I’ve also preordered Final Fantasy X & X-2 HD for PS3 and Infamous Second Son for PS4. So I have a lot of games to play soon, but that’s great! Hopefully I can get the time also, will preorder a copy of Drakengard 3 later too. I need that game! I love NieR and it’s from the same team, I need it!

Merry Christmas everyone!

I don’t celibate Christmas anymore, I haven’t done that in a long long time. Still I decided too go my friend ZX-Omega and his family. And it was pleasant, even if a bit frightening since there where people there I didn’t know and that was hard. Still I had a good time and I thank them all. And a great big thank you for the gift, thank you!

I also want to give a shout out to my friend Lania who gave me some Christmas game money as a gift. I really appreciate that, thank you kindly. ^^ I’ll see what I’ll spend them on, must be something good. =)

I’ve taken a break from Assassin’s Creed IV, I haven’t played or started my PS4 in over a week. Well I don’t feel like AC4 right now and I have nothing else to play on the PS4 at the moment. Still don’t regret buying it since I got it dirt cheap, but I am really looking forward to Infamous: Second Son. So for now I’ll probably be playing Tales of The Abyss 3DS, I traded in some old games and got myself a 3DS XL as a Christmas present. And I am thinking about taking up Kingdom Hearts 1.5 HD ReMIX again too. KH feels right this time of year, even if it feels nothing like Christmas this year.

Merry Christmas to you all!! Thank you for reading and the support of my site! =)

I want to go to NärCon!!

I really, really, really would like to be able to go to NärCon here in Sweden. They will have a very special guest that I desperately would like to meet in real life. NärCon will be held in Linköping on July 25 and will last a few days, but the special guest will be there on the 25th.

Mr. Hideo Baba from Namco Bandai will be there! And I guess, people have no idea who this is. Well this name is the producer to the Tales of series, a videogame series I love very much.
And he is coming to Sweden! My home country of all the countries!! Gah!!

Hideo Baba, producer of the Tales of series

Since the Tales of series, is among my favorite game series. I would to be able to go and meet him and get my copy of Tales of Graces f signed. And just thank him for releasing more of the Tales of games outside of Japan. You’ll also be able try a demo of Tales of Xillia there.
Would be nice, very nice indeed. This man has given me such games of joy, games that have helped me feel better when I was down and depressed.
But unless I can get some kind of boost in my budget, which is very unlikely right now. There is no way I can afford to go, I can keep my fingers-crossed that a friend of mine could go an he could drive… So I’ll keep hoping that the festival he was going to, is cut short. ;)
Hehe, no of course I don’t hope that will happen too my friend. But if it should happen…. I wouldn’t complain.

A Strange day

I’ve been feeling a bit down and depressed the past week. I do still have those, even if so many things in my life is better than it was 6 months ago. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of some of the dark feelings that sometime creeps up on me.
Today was a strange day, I hadn’t slept much but the alarm rings and its time for work. it was all good, but on the way to work on the buss I started thinking. Big mistake… Depression hit again and it was back to square one, its really frustrating not being able to enjoy stuff because your drowning in your thoughts. Ugh, I sound like a emo now.

Much of the thought that have made me depressed is my loneliness. I’ve been feeling very lonely the past weeks, I’ve even started to dislike my apartment.
And I wanted to move. Move closer to friends… I have a bathtub in my apartment and I’ve always hated it, since I want to be able to take nice quick showers if possible.
Mostly since I work in dirty environments. So today finally, I was able to remove it and all my depression vanished. And my love for my apartment returned almost immediately.
Its been up and down like that for me all day, it felt so damn strange… Really don’t know what to make of it, well emo rant out!

Last day as an intern

Going to work now, its my last day as an intern. When I go home today I’ll be going home as an intern, when I come back on Monday I’ll be coming back as a real employee!
It feels so incredible great, hard to describe in words. My nine months of working hard and doing the best I can has really payed of, thanks to all of my friends who have supported me.
Tomorrow is also the last the day of 2010, its been a good year. It has had its ups and downs, but mostly ups for me.

2010 is the best year ever!

Those who have followed my site over the years, know I’m not the luckiest guy alive.
I’ve always had bad luck and a somewhat challenging life. But I’ve tried my best to make it work, but was almost always kicked in face. So to say, 2010 started as a pretty good year.
I started working and got some rhythm in my life. My insomnia problems, I’ve ha for about 10-12years disappeared. And that felt really good to be able to sleep like a normal human, it has done wonders with my mood.

Despite that crap that happened in June-September, this year has been awesome.
I finally got my own place and it was so awesome and I’ve never felt so free! But the thing that really make this year one of the best ever for me… Is that I’ll get employed! Fuck yeah!
Yes, from January 2011 I’ll be employed and earn money!! I’ve worked hard for this moment, this whole year. I’m so happy to see it finally paying off.
And it seems like things will finally start to change for the better for me, I’m really looking forward to see what 2011 will bring now. Thanks all my friends who have supported me, I appreciate it all.

I will survive?

Ugh! One big fucking UGH! This month is a real killer, I really hope I’ll survive this one. I’m going to get less money than I expected, the bills where higher than expected..
I thought it was going to be the same it had been the last three months, but apparently it was much more expensive this month. So goddamn great.
When everything is payed I’m going to have about 400sek left and I need to buy food for a whole month for that. Good fucking luck… Yeah, I’m whiny and bitchy right now. Don’t feel all to good either. I’m sorry ZX-Omega but I won’t be able to visit you, I can’t afford any extra stuff now. I don’t honestly have the strength to care to much about going away either right now. And I was going to a christmas party with my work too, I’m having a hard time even thinking about spending time with other people right now. I was hoping to buy some new clothes to wear there. I think I’m going to puke soon…