I want to make movies

It’s been a quite,nice and pretty relaxing Saturday so far. It feels great, just taking it easy and not doing anything at all. Well in a while I am going to sit down and play some moreThe Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds.
The game has been fun and great so far, we’ll see what I think later when I’m done with the game. But since A Link To The Past is my favorite Zelda game, I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy this one too.

I would like to make videos again, I’d like to get some old AMV ideas out there. But it is pretty hard when you feel no motivation for it sadly. Then again I would love to make real videos too, me and a couple of friends have a few ideas. We would like to make small horror like movies, hard to explain my idea without going into to much detail. Which I don’t want to do at the moment, I’d just like to make movies in all kind of stuff. Video game related stuff, reviews. Yeah all the big kinda stuff, hoping the motivation and time will find it’s way to me, to be a bit more creative. Would be a bit easier too if I had a house, then one room could be the work room for such projects.
We will see what the future brings, but it has been a dream of mine to make some kind of movie. I don’t know if it even would be good or if anyone would watch it, I just feel it’s something I have to do in order to satisfy a long time dream.

I want to go to NärCon!!

I really, really, really would like to be able to go to NärCon here in Sweden. They will have a very special guest that I desperately would like to meet in real life. NärCon will be held in Linköping on July 25 and will last a few days, but the special guest will be there on the 25th.

Mr. Hideo Baba from Namco Bandai will be there! And I guess, people have no idea who this is. Well this name is the producer to the Tales of series, a videogame series I love very much.
And he is coming to Sweden! My home country of all the countries!! Gah!!

Hideo Baba, producer of the Tales of series

Since the Tales of series, is among my favorite game series. I would to be able to go and meet him and get my copy of Tales of Graces f signed. And just thank him for releasing more of the Tales of games outside of Japan. You’ll also be able try a demo of Tales of Xillia there.
Would be nice, very nice indeed. This man has given me such games of joy, games that have helped me feel better when I was down and depressed.
But unless I can get some kind of boost in my budget, which is very unlikely right now. There is no way I can afford to go, I can keep my fingers-crossed that a friend of mine could go an he could drive… So I’ll keep hoping that the festival he was going to, is cut short. ;)
Hehe, no of course I don’t hope that will happen too my friend. But if it should happen…. I wouldn’t complain.

Packing, movie making and dreams

Whew! I am glad May 1st is a holiday here in Sweden. I’ve gotten some work done at home today, alot of stuff done actually. The kitchen is as good clear, just have to defrost the fridge and it’s all empty! Just have to clean everything later, but I’ll do that before the big move clean inspection. Which will be sometime later this month.
I cleaned some windows to, I will most likely have to clean the outside again later. But at least they wont be as dirty as they where now. Gonna get a few more boxes tomorrow I think, so I can put my stuff away in a good way. Soon I’ll just have some furniture left to take, but I’ll move what I can on Thursday. And then on Friday we’ll take the rest.

It feels good knowing you’ll move away from a shitty place, to something that will likely be much better. That’s the whole impression I have gotten from the new neighborhood, so we will see how it turns out. But I highly doubt it will be as bad as it is, where I live know. Finally peace and quite, no kids live there and the one who lived the apartment before said it was a good place to live.
The only downside, is the smaller apartment. Well for its a plus too. Cheaper rent, but I’m not to fond of having the bed in the same room as everything else. At least there is a real kitchen, you can sit in. I wouldn’t have taken the apartment otherwise.

Hehe, yeah I just keep rambling about my apartment, but I am really looking forward to this. It is going to be great and I can’t wait to everything is moved, so I can start playing again. And take long bike rides and perhaps find small adventures. But one of the biggest things I hope I can work on is doing my own movies, it’s a dream I’ve had for a long time. And I feel like it is time to try and do something about it. I really hope it will turn into something. You never know until you try.

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Do climbing sheep dream of Catherine?

I had my eyes set on Catherine for some time, it seemed to be a fairly interesting game. While I wasn’t very interested in the puzzle aspect of the game, I decided to give it a whirl. The game had gotten a bunch of praises from people who had played it, so I started dreaming and started climbing.

What can you call this game? A puzzle, climbing horror game? No idea, but that’s about the gist of it. I wanted to play the game for the story. It start with Vincent a regular Joe, with a regular job. His girlfriend since way back, Katherine (yeah, with a K) wants to move on. She wants to get married, but Vincent thinks are fine the way they are. And he becomes a bit pressured and stressed about the future. He doesn’t want things to change and that is where he meets Catherine. He “accidentally” cheats on his girlfriend and from there on it’s just a road of lies and trouble ahead. This is also the part where I started to hate Vincent.
Either way, he starts having nightmares where he has to climb blocks to reach a goal. If you die in this dream, you die for real.

It pretty fun and a bit disgusting to see how Vincent tries to handle the mess he got him into. I really enjoyed the story, I won’t go into it anymore. I don’t want to spoil anything for people who want to play it. As I said I played it for the story and got a sweet game! I’m not to fond of the puzzles or should I say game play. Some where fun others not, hard to say something other about it. It was a nice experience, I’m glad I played it.

Catherine to the left and Katherine, Vincent’s girlfriend to the right. Who would you pick? Katherine all the way for me!

Weird dreams and PS3

My old Playstation 3 had started acting weird, hard drive crashing at random. And nearing its end of warranty… Thankfully I had a bunch of old games I never played anymore, so I could trade those and the console in for a new Playstation 3 slim. So thanks to that I didn’t need to pay a single penny extra for the trade in. So now I have a brand new PS3 and 3 more years of warrant if anything happens. Now I can rest a bit easier about that at least.

And speaking of rest… For the last couple of days I’ve been sleeping very badly. I’ve been having weird dreams and nightmares, normally none of those things affect me or my sleep. But now for some reason they do, I would like to know why!? Since its pretty goddamn frustrating not to be able to sleep. And you can’t get that fucking dream out of your head. Mostly my nightmares are about people I love dying or getting hurt badly.
Another popular dream is that the ones I love are zombies, that’s actually pretty gruesome… Seeing your closest family and friends, with cracked skulls, guts hanging out and such. Its not very pleasant and those dreams are always so damn real. Nothing is out of the ordinary, environments and everything are 100% identical. The only difference is the zombies, but the rest is so real. So damn real…

And I sometimes dream about this girl, I have no idea who she is. But she is beautiful and we are a couple in my dreams. We have good times and are very happy together, but then I wake up. I’m left with a big feeling of emptiness, its so damn depressing. I’ve been having dreams about this for years.
The world is such a better place in these dreams, I wish I can meet this girl for real. Or someone like her, ugh… Yeah, now I’ve started to think about it all again…

Why do I have to feel?

A few days ago I discovered something I wish I hadn’t, I realized that I still seem to have feelings for a girl I went to the same class with in school. She was not interested in me in anyway and I didn’t make any more advances on her. And I fell into depression at the time, I couldn’t stop think about her. Well, life goes on and I’ve been thinking about her from time to time. Then one day while I was working, I saw a girl that reminded me of her. It wasn’t her, but that’s when I started to hurt… I realized I still felt something for her.
Is that even possible? I could never stop thinking about her in the past, she is also to date the only girl I’ve had feelings for. I haven’t met anyone that made me feel like I did back then.

I haven’t seen her in years and my feelings seemed to be just as strong as before, but she rejected me horribly. And it made school even more awkward for me. Like I didn’t have trouble with other shit, then this came along and made stuff worse. It just feels weird to have feelings for this girl, I had let all feelings go and turned stone cold. So why the hell am I feeling stuff now? I really don’t understand human emotions well and this is just confusing me.
I had hoped to get more out than this, but I have a really hard time expressing myself when it comes to opening up my feelings. I’ve kept all kinds of feelings bottled up, I couldn’t cry in the past. But know I can cry for the tiniest thing, its so damn weird. I’m oversensitive…

She was my first love and seems to be just about the only love I’ve had. 15 years or so has passed since I last saw her and I have never met anyone or even gotten the feeling of loving someone. The thing is I’m not a believer of love and stuff like that, but still I feel this way. Yeah… A lot of ramblings this time, but I needed to get some of it of my chest.

A white PS3! *dreams*

I just found out that Japan is getting a white PS3 modell!
Now I’m jealous. I’ve wanted a white PS3 for sometime now and this happens!
Too bad it probably won’t be released in EU. This PS3 will also come with a Dualshock 3 controller. Yeah, you might know that Sony is now back on track with their rumble controllers. *YAY* As I’m probably one of the few who actually admits he has missed rumble.

Ever since I got a Dreamcast when it came out and later Psone, I’ve been sold on white painted consoles. So that’s why I’ll at least be importing the white Dualshock 3 controller later, I at least must have that one! And I leave you here today with the sexy white DS3 controller.