Less than a week left until I turn 29. Heh, not that I care much about that. It’s just a number and doesn’t mean much to me, just adding to a bigger number. Guess that’s the best part of this month, because I have not been feeling well. I’m entering one of my depressing periods, it’s so damn hard to fight that. I’ve been wanting to avoid taking pills for as long as I’ve could, I’ve taken some for my depressions at time. But now I think I need something better and perhaps a more regular approach to it.
This past week that we are now leaving behind us has been bad, I’ve been walking around like an empty shell. And its hard that no one around me seems to understand how hard this is, and doesn’t give much thought. And it’s so damn hard to explain these kind of things to people, especially if they don’t understand how it feels to be like this.
So I hope I can get an appointment at the doctor next Friday and hopefully I can get some help, at least see if I can get a diagnose on why I am like I am and have to feel like I do.
And hopefully get rid of some of the heavy load ’m carrying from my past, that would be nice. Or at least get some of it of my chest, so it doesn’t sink me down so much..
This was a depressing post, I really hope the next ones will be much better and happier. If I just can get rid of this heavy, empty feeling I can start feeling a bit better. At least for now and that would be great.